my sister

Why my sister do not want me at her wedding if i bring my boyfriend

My sister told me I couldn’t be at her wedding if I brought my boyfriend of 5 years.

I met my boyfriend in college 7 years ago,  and we started dating 5 years ago.  He is super close and loving with my family.  He was there at my niece’s births,  baptisms,  Christmas,  vacations,  etc.  We are extremely committed to each other for the long run but don’t want to get married until we are financially stable and both our careers are where we want them to be.  My sister has been with her fiancé for 2 years and engaged for 6 months.  My sister was the type of girl who dreamed of getting married since she was a little girl.  It didn’t matter who proposed,

she just wanted to be married.  In the beginning of her relationship,  she tricked me into going on a double date with her fiancé and his brother.  She had said it was dinner with her and a friend.  It was most definitely not.  The brother kept making passes at me the whole time,  and I told him I had a boyfriend,  and the whole situation made me uncomfortable.  At their engagement party,  my boyfriend noticed that the brother wouldn’t stop staring at me,  and we tried our best to avoid him.  Every time I saw this guy,  he was weird towards me.  My sister wanted me,  my fraternal twin, and two brothers in her wedding.  Then my sister told me that I was going to be walking down the aisle with her fiancé’s brother.

I told her that he made me uncomfortable and I thought I would be walking with my own brother.  Apparently,  this was something her fiancé insisted on,  and she wanted to make him happy.  It seemed like a pretty weird thing to insist on,  and I knew it was some scheme between the two brothers.  My other siblings also thought it was weird and voiced their objections to our sister.  She got upset and said it was her wedding and she would do what she wanted.  I told my boyfriend this,  and he was upset for me.  He was confident enough in himself that he knew this guy would never be competition,  but he knew how uncomfortable I was with this situation.

One day we had a family dinner at my mom’s house.  I took this as an opportunity to bring up the aisle situation with my mother around.  My sister got extremely upset and started crying,  saying I was trying to ruin her marriage.  I was so confused,  as was everyone else,  and tried to explain that he made me and my boyfriend extremely uncomfortable.  She then said that I couldn’t bring my boyfriend to her wedding anymore,  and if I did,  then I was no longer a bridesmaid.  She gave no reason as to why I couldn’t bring him,  and my siblings were just as upset,  considering they liked my boyfriend a lot better than my sister’s fiancé.

I thought I would give her a few days to calm down and rethink,  but she did not change her mind.  My boyfriend is an incredible guy and has been nothing but kind and generous to my sister.  His feelings were hurt,  but he still wanted me to go to the wedding.  I thought my sister was being an unreasonable prick,  and I knew I would be pretty pissed off the wedding if my life partner was not there with me.  So,  I went to my parents’  house with my brothers and told them about everything the brother-in-law had done that made me super uncomfortable.  I also told them about how my sister was disrespecting my relationship.  My dad was pretty pissed off about the date stunt she pulled and was on my side.

However,  my mom said that I needed to try and resolve this with her because if I was not part of the wedding party,  people would talk.  Honestly,  I couldn’t care less about what the extended family had to say but my mom called a family meeting and asked my sister and my twin to come to the house.  My dad asked her why I was no longer walking with my brother,  to which she responded saying that it’s what her fiance wanted,  and she just wanted to make him happy.  I pressed the issue,  asking why this was such a big deal for me to walk with him.  I said that he was super weird,  and I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to assault me.

 That really pissed her off.  She started crying and yelling,  saying a bunch of BS about how this was all she’d ever wanted and we were trying to ruin her special day,  blah blah blah.  I was tired of the arguing and just straight up said I’d go the wedding as a guest,  then I’d leave before the reception.  My twin and younger brother took my side and said they didn’t want to be in the wedding party if I wasn’t.  This made my sister lose her freaking mind.  She was screaming now,  calling me and my boyfriend a bunch of horrible names.  I decided to leave and let my parents calm her down,  but before I could walk out,  she ran at me screaming and yanked my hair.

She wouldn’t let go,  so I yanked hers too,  and she let go.  She had extensions,  and apparently,  I screwed them up and ripped some hair out.  She tried to grab me again,  so I punched her in the face.  So now she had a black eye,  a cut on her cheek,  and was missing some hair.  She was absolutely livid because her bachelorette party was next week.  My mom was mad at me,  but my dad was not.  My sister also started threatening depressed charges against me.  Then my other siblings also agreed they wouldn’t be at the wedding.  She told my mom that if I apologised to her and agreed to be at the wedding, she’d let me walk with my brother.  I felt like that was BS,  and she would still make me walk with  I felt like it wasn’t worth the trouble,  and I just didn’t want to go at all.  However,  my mom and dad wanted me to do what she asked because they were paying for the wedding and wanted all their kids there.  My twin and younger brother said they’d do whatever I wanted to do,  but I didn’t think I should be the reason they didn’t go.  My boyfriend felt like he started all this drama when none of it was his fault.  My sister believed I ruined her wedding,  and I didn’t know what to do.

So the options were to go to the wedding as a guest,  be in the wedding,  or not go at all.  My parents would be upset if I didn’t go,  and I really didn’t want any more tension,  but she disrespected me and my relationship.  I knew that as soon as this wedding was over,  I was going to limit my contact with her for a while.  Fast forward to the wedding.  I showed up in my bridesmaid dress because I wasn’t gonna go and buy another one and it’s a very nice dress.  Me and my boyfriend tried to go in as late as we could to limit the amount of family asking me why I’m not in the wedding.  A few aunts and uncles asked and I just said my sister lost her mind and to ask her.

 I tried to stay with some cousins who I told what happened and know how my sister is an occasional nut.  We sat in the front row where my sister,  her husband,  and the brother could see me with my very serious,  handsome,  amazing,  loving boyfriend.  He held my hand the whole time and made sure I was okay.  I caught the brother staring at me once and I quickly shut that down by kissing my boyfriend.  As soon as they all walked back down the aisle I said my goodbyes to the people that deserved it and we left.  We went to a bar and danced and had a good time.  Later,  I was told that my twin had quite a few drinks at the wedding and was being very mouthy with my sister. 

I didn’t ask her to say something but she would have done that with or without booze.  My younger brother told almost every family member that my sister went crazy on me and that’s why I wasn’t at the reception.  I’m glad I went to the wedding so I can say I told you so when this marriage ends in six months.  I feel really bad for my sister honestly.  She baby-trapped herself with a subpar bottom feeder.  That man has zero qualities that would make me jump through all these hoops.  He has the personality of an Adidas sandal.  I’m also glad that delusional sob saw me kissing the man I love because that will never be him.

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